Behind Green Eyes
by DreamsUnleashed
Summary: A short one shot with glimpses from Lily's Point of view. She goes through varies stages of life up until fifth year after OWLS when... IT happened. Quotes in the last part taken from the book for accuracy.


1772

Lily was grinning as she skipped a stone across the Black Lake. She looked over at Severus and was nearly hoping for joy. "I did it, Sev. I transfigured the rat into a goblet! Not a furry one like Black's either! A real glass goblet!" While Lily usually liked the classes with Severus in them the most, Transfiguration on Tuesday was with Ravenclaw. Severus smiled back at her, skipping his own stone out farther than Lily's had gone. Lily's green eyes watched the stone as it skipped, her lips pursing as it went farther than her own. She quickly located a stone that was smooth and looked very skip-able before trying to make it soar through the air before it skimmed across the surface of the lake. It still didn't go as far as Severus' stone had gone.

"My cousin showed me how to skip stones before… before they had their accident. See here…" Severus came behind Lily with a stone, placing it in her hand and guiding her in the motion of skipping the stone. He did it a few times before he let Lily throw it on her own.

A few Slytherins passed by, snickering and glancing their way. Severus looked away and moved from Lily, choosing to sit back on the grass instead. Lily looked from them, then back to Severus. Puzzled, she sat down beside Severus and tilted her head. "What? What is it Sev? You look sad all of the sudden." She watched the Slytherins as they turned to the Quidditch Pitch and squared her shoulders. "They're picking on you, aren't they? Come on, we'll show them. You're better at spells than they are, anyway!" Lily took out her wand in a flash and went to stand up. Severus placed his hand on her wrist and shook his head.

Lily looked back to where the boys were disappearing and frowned. She sat down but Severus didn't let go of his hold on her, which she didn't mind. In fact, it felt nice knowing he was here. She didn't understand though. "Lily, you'll just make it worse…" Severus let his long hair fall over his eyes as he looked down at his free hand. "They don't like me being friends with a Gryffindor." Lily deflated and slumped into the grass. Her mouth opened and a soft, "Oh…" was all that found its way out.

"Is it me being a Gryffindor that they disapprove of, or me being a muggle born?" Lily asked quietly, staring at the pale hand that suddenly tightened on her wrist. She looked up from under her lashes and saw a fierceness in his eyes. He was staring at the lake, but she knew there was someone he was thinking of. He let go of her wrist suddenly, and grabbed her hand instead. His hand was oddly cold against her warmer one. She would have to get him gloves, Lily thought absently as she tried to warm his hand with her own.

"I don't care about that. You're Lily, my friend and that's all that matters, right?" Severus said, standing and helping her up like a proper gentleman. Her mother taught her all about manners and Lily had passed on this knowledge to Severus as they began to spend their days together. He had told her that he was a Prince after all, which at first had made her giggle. Now, she was a bit wiser and the way Severus was very careful about what he did convinced her that he would have made a fine Prince. In turn, Severus taught her proper wizarding etiquette. Her form still needed some work, but that was because her big clumsy feet always got in the way.

"Right, Sev." Lily said as Severus half dragged her back to the castle so they wouldn't be late for lunch. Her feet padded behind his, his legs much longer than hers allowing him to take longer strides. She gripped his hand tighter and ran up along-side him, inviting him to the Gryffindor table for eat lunch. The others couldn't pick on him there.

1774

"Mudblood." Lily was tired of hearing that word, and didn't even look back at the juvenile student who had said it. Instead, she continued working on her essay that was due in two days. She had neglected it for long enough so now she had several long paragraphs to fill space. It was on History of Magic, so really there wasn't too much to tell. She detested the class with its monotone dialog of what could be such exciting events. A goblin would be a much better teacher, with their feisty and stubborn nature. She might actually be able to take notes instead of passing them.

"Hey Lils." Sev said, sitting on the bench beside her and looking down at her parchment. "I thought you had already finished that?" Lily flinched, she knew that she had told Severus that she had finished all her homework already but… well this was more torture than homework. She idly wondered if the homework was even read and reviewed. She didn't want to chance it though. It might look bad on her record if she failed History of Magic.

"Well, I forgot about this essay. That's all." Lily sighed as she wrote an elongated version of a rather short sentence to make her paragraph appear longer. The giants went into battle and the only reason they lost was because of some rather tricky wizarding strategists. End of story. Well, perhaps the part with Julian the Fierce was pretty interesting, but that couldn't be all her essay was about now could it?

"Well, at least it's just History of Magic. It's about the easiest class." Lily looked at him with a dulled expression, face unmoving as she watched Severus try and figure it out.

"It's also the worst class to try and pay attention to. It doesn't even have a challenge. I hate it." Lily leaned closer to Severus. "Hate. It." Then she grinned and put her essay away. Really, she could put it off a little longer. She still had plenty of time. Crossing her legs and holding onto her knees, she face Severus with an easy smile.

"How was your day?" Lily asked, since he had care of magical creatures before she did he might fill her in on what they were doing.

"Lucius and I found a hidden passage way, I think. Down in the dungeons, it just leads to an empty room but it looks awesome. There was this really long table in the room and it looks like it might have been there to hold meetings and stuff." Severus said, his black eyes alight with excitement. His hands clenched in his robes. Lily didn't even notice he had been leaning forward until he jerkily moved back as Slytherins passed by.

A red eyebrow rose as she watched the Slytherins moved past them, barely giving the two a glance. "Why did you move away when they came near?" Lily asked, uncomfortable with how he would edit himself when they were around others. Severus looked very shy, and his hands tightened even more inside his robes until they were nearly hidden.

"They think I like you…" He said under his breath, so softly that Lily just barely heard him.

"Don't be silly, we're the best of friends." Lily answered, maybe a little too quickly. Her heart pounded hard as she said it though, which was odd. She didn't like Severus like that, at least she didn't think she did. No, he was her best friend. Besides, she thought she heard that he liked Anastasia Harley from Ravenclaw anyway. She wasn't that pretty really, but the glasses did look good on her and her stupid blond curls that fell past her shoulders in little ringlets like an angel. At least, the angel part was something she had heard others say.

Severus looked away, still shy. "Ya…" Why did he not want to tell her about his crush on Ana? It wasn't like she would judge him for it. Ana didn't deserve Severus though, not with her mild flirting with nearly any boy that crossed her path but she was good at brewing potions…

"Want to show me the secret room?" Lily asked, hoping to get off the subject quickly before things got too awkward between them.

 _Later that year_

Sitting in the secret room they had discovered, Lily munched on cookies she had hidden during lunch. Her potion book was open and they were brewing a particularly difficult potion they really weren't supposed to be doing yet. Severus had found the book in the library and it was the same one the sixth years were using. It was called Veritaserum, a truth potion that no one could lie while under its effects unless you had the antidote. It would be great if they decided to ever play truth or dare some time. Lily had never really played the game before, unless you counted with her sister and cousin when she was young. Now, though, it would far more exciting with magic and being more mature…

Lily giggled softly to herself and Severus stared at her from over the potion's book. "What?" He eyed her speculatively. She grinned at him and offered him a cookie as they waited. Really they had to wait 28 days until it was matured. For now, they were just hanging out as they… was it against school rules to do this? She wasn't really sure.

"Merry Christmas, Sevvy." Lily stated as she took a cookie. They bit into their treats simultaneously. As they chewed, a small creature flew into the room. It was mistletoe… with ribbon tied in a bow for wings. Lily laughed and leaned back in her chair. It must have been Professor Flitwick who had the idea of making the ribbons fly about. How cute.

Severus' head was back in the book, reading about Felix Felicis she would bet her last knut on it. She watched as it flew around, almost running into the wall at a corner. Lily watched as it circled the room before starting to come to the table. Lily's heart picked up as she watched the red ribbon draw closer. She knew she wouldn't really HAVE to, but what if it caused seven years bad luck like walking under an open ladder?

"Sev… We have a visitor." Severus looked up sharply and looked around. He looked confused until he saw the mistletoe. Lily watched his face turn from pale into an almost tomato red, which made his black hair stand out even more. He looked at her and then back at the mistletoe before he cleared his throat.

"You don't have to… you know." Severus said quietly, almost in a choked voice.

"Have you met someone who hasn't before? Don't they always appear so sad?" Lily asked, wondering if maybe it would hurt her love life if she didn't.

The mistletoe settling above their heads so Lily stood. If she was going to have her first kiss, she would do it properly. Lifting her chin up as she walked over to Severus. He seemed to be surprised at her forwardness, but Severus wasn't really a very assertive type of person.

Lily felt her heart beat harder and harder against the chest as she got closer. Soon she was standing in front of him and Severus almost tripped as he suddenly realized he was still sitting down. She stared at him, looking up into his piecing gaze that seemed to know what she was thinking even when she didn't want to hear it. The one who had shown her not to be afraid when she could do things that the rest of her family couldn't. The person who was there for her and made sure that she wasn't lonely when she was somewhere new… and terrifying like a big castle with moving staircases and talking portraits.

She leaned in and pressed her hand against his cheek, which was surprisingly warm to the touch. His pale skin made it look like he would have had a body temperature lower than most. His lips were soft and Lily tried to push her mind for what she should do. She didn't know, so she softly moved her lips against his and hoped to Merlin's grave she wasn't doing anything wrong. The mistletoe flew away and Lily moved back, heart pounded harder than before and just staring at Severus who seemed nervous as he rubbed the back of his neck and looked down.

"Don't worry… this doesn't change anything… We're still friends." Severus said quickly, eyes still not looking at her. Perhaps it was for the best then, as her heart fell just a little. She still had Severus she guessed, her best friend. She sat back down quickly and tried to analyze what had happened, perhaps she had done something wrong. Perhaps she should investigate kissing couples, or maybe find a willing partner to help her experiment? Potter would jump for joy at that idea, but she didn't want to throw up during these experiments.

 _Summer of 1775_

Hogwarts was just a day away now, and Lily felt all nervous just like she always did. Her stomach was full of butterflies that wouldn't settle down so there she sat on a hill looking over the playground she used to enjoy when she was little. It was there that she first felt confident in herself and what she could do. Not many people played there, at least not anymore.

"Hey Lils, ready to go to Hogwarts?" Severus said, coming up behind her in his overgrown black shirt and dirty pants. She didn't think that those clothes would ever really fit him. His father was a fat portly man and Severus took more after his mother on many things. Not that she had ever really met either of his parents. Severus carried a picture of his mother though, in his wallet. She had also seen his father when she was little and wanted to play and hadn't seen Severus around. Tobias Snape was terrifying in his own way. Gaunt and large boned, he had towered over her little figure like his very shadow would devour her. Severus had later told her to never come to his house again… She hadn't been keen on it from the beginning but seeing the look in Severus' eyes as he told her that made her very afraid to.

"The war is getting worse…" Lily said, instead of answering. Lily felt a wind sweep through their little town, pushing her hair into her face. She pulled her knees up and wondered how it would change them… "You're friends… I don't like them. The ones that make you distant from me when they are near. So what if I'm muggle born? It's not like I have a disease they can catch." Lily said, looking over at him inquisitively. Severus looked like he wanted to say something but then shook his head.

"They are my friends, they help me when I get stumped and show me new cool spells." Lily hugged her legs tighter and stared at the playground.

"You're different around them. Colder. They are making you change…" Lily responded, but she didn't want to push it.

"You just don't get it, Lily. They make me feel wanted, included in something." Severus said, sounding somewhat exasperated.

"You don't think I want you? Wait that came out wrong… You don't think I want you around?" Lily asked, becoming somewhat flustered as she got her words turned around. Funny how something sounds fine in your head but when it finally is said makes you feel like an ass?

"No that's not it. It's like, guy time. Time to do stuff that I can't do with you because… well you're a girl." Lily knew that it was true, and settled her chin on her knees.

"I guess you're right." Lily said, not pushing it anymore because she wouldn't get too far. This was hardly the first time she had brought up his friends. Was she going to be selfish and possessive because he had other friends? Well no, but his friends made him act… peculiar. That was her problem. She didn't want to admit it, but Mary had pointed it out last year around February.

"Lily, I will never call you a… you know what. You know that right?" Lily smiled a bit, and she leaned over against Severus.

"Ya, I know Sev." She felt a little bit better, but Severus always went back to being a better man when he was away from his friends. She just hoped he could stay strong against their peer pressure to last through their last years at Hogwarts.

 **1775**

Lily gripped her hands and kept pulling on her fingers as she tried to remember the questions even after the owl tests had been collected. She was sure she answered nearly them all correctly, if not all, but she had stayed up late studying for them. What if she was still very sleepy and wrote the wrong answer down by accident? What if… What if she failed? Her heart was beating so fast, she ran into a group of giggling girls. "Oh sorry…"

Mary McDonald pulled her away from the gaggle of girls who were now upset and glaring at the redhead. "I think I failed!" Lily almost cried, startled out of her thoughts and now frustrated since she had run into those girls. Mary held her by the shoulders and shook her hard, causing her head to spin.

"The Lily Evans I know wouldn't fail her O.W.L.S. We studied until three in the morning just to make sure we knew all there was to know. We quizzed each other on some of the hardest questions they could think of for each subject. I mean, I failed on making a Felix Felicis last night but I didn't have to make that potion!" Mary said triumphantly, striking a pose to look confident and composed. Mary was confident but composed she was not. She was more like a… hot rocket heading whichever way it wanted and then back.

Lily smiled and had to say, they had spent a good amount of time studying. Lily wanted to be a healer which meant there was a lot of expectations for her. She needed to get high scores in order to get into advance classes. Mary swung an arm around her shoulder as they started for the lake to relax. Lily really wanted to stick her feet inside the water, feel the squishy silt between her toes and relax.

"Did you hear about the most recent attack?" Mary started, but Lily shook her head and turned away. Her heart sank as she thought of the last one, which had been months ago but still horrifying. It had been too close to where her parents lived… and the Slytherins had been very chipper that week. Even… Lily didn't want to think of those things today. Today the hardest part was over and now she could just enjoy the day.

A large commotion brought Lily's attention away from her thoughts and she felt heat fill her face as rage swelled within her. Potter and his gang of… miscreants were terrorizing Sev again. Gathering up her robes, she strode forward to place her hands on her hips and declare to the crowd that was enjoying this torture. No better than Death Eaters…

"Leave him ALONE!" Lily shouted, her eyes then met with Sev and noticed the bubbles coming out of his mouth. She sighed and noticed that Potter must have said something. She glared at him, loathing filling her with a new sort of rage. She just wanted to… punch him square in that smug face. Doing it right here in front of all the witnesses would bring him down a few notches.

"Leave him alone. What's he done to you?" This ought to be good, since he never truly had a good reason for this unruly torture.

"Well," James paused, pretending to think. She could tell because there was an evil twinkle in his eyes as she looked back at Severus. "It's more the fact he exists, if you know what I mean." The fact that people laughed, they actually thought this prick was funny made her want to lash out at them all. Severus could be a selfish prick sometimes, but he had her back. He would be there for her…

"You think you're funny," She let her words hang in the air like ice. "But you're just an arrogant, bulling toe rag, Potter. Leave. Him. Alone." She took a step toward him with each word to make it appear more menacing.

"I will, if you go out with me Evans." James seemed all too happy to come up with a great excuse on his end. Did he really have Severus tortured with soap bubbles coming out of his mouth to ask her out on a date? James knew nothing about romance, did he? Most men might bring her flowers and roses, which actually James had done already, but now he resorted to soap bubbles coming from her best friend's mouth to convince her?

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid." Lily said, not even thinking about her answer. Sirius said something to James, but Lily didn't notice. Her eyes had been searching for a professor, but of course the boys had chosen their timing perfectly. There was no professor in sight to catch them. When Lily turned back to the group, James' face and robes were covered in blood. Lily's eyes widen as she took a step back and she looked back between Severus and James. This was what she didn't want to see… Severus with hatred filling his eyes as he looked at the damaged Gryffindor. She had heard something being spoken but she hadn't been payihng attention. What spell could cause this sort of damage? Her heart sank.

It didn't seem to faze James however. He turned around and had Severus up in the air upside down with his robes falling to reveal grey underpants. They were very old fashioned, Lily didn't think she had ever seen such undergarments… "Let him down!"

Severus fell down in a heap and as he struggled to get back up, Sirius hit him with another curse to keep him in place… rigid as a board. Lily fished out her wand and had it clenched in her fist as she shouted, "LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you." James seemed like he really didn't want to, but likely due to the fact that he didn't want to piss her off more. If he really didn't want to hex her, he could be a big boy and take control of his actions.

"Take the curse off him, then!" Lily demanded, relaxing her wand hand as she watched Severus begin to move again.

"There you go. You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus." Looking at him, he didn't look very lucky.

"I don't need help from a filthy little Mudblood like her!" Lily blinked and felt her heart shatter into pieces. She didn't feel like she was dying but flashes of them playing before Hogwarts, and at Hogwarts flashed through her mind. The time he said he would never call her such a filthy name came through the most vivid.

"Fine. I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, **Snivellus**." She made sure to enunciate his rotten nick name that he never wanted. She held herself together with glue, but she didn't want to be here anymore. She kept her head held high, chin up as she tried to hold back her pain. It was supposed to be a relaxing day, dammit. This wasn't relaxing.

"Apologize to Evans!" James shouted, his wand pointed at Severus but Lily wouldn't have that. She pushed James' wand down and glared at him.

"I don't want **you** to make him apologize. You're as bad as he is!" Lily shouted, while shorter in stature she refused to look up at him. She couldn't believe he of all people now wanted to try and be all heroic.

"What?" James said startled, eyes wide as he stared at her incredulously. "I'd NEVER call you a you-know-what!"

"Oh messing up your hair because you think it's cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off that stupid Snitch, walking down the corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can. I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You. Make. Me. SICK." Lily wanted to spit at him, but withheld that urge. Instead, she turned on her heel and strode away. She heard James call after he but didn't care. She wanted to go lie in bed and pretend the entire day was a nightmare. Her mind kept replaying Severus calling her a mudblood. The word kept echoing in her mind in _his_ voice and it wouldn't stop. The look in his eyes… It tore her heart even more. He meant it. He meant every word. That image would haunt her, like a wizard's portrait and he would be shouting at her. "I don't need help from a mudblood like HER!" She choked on a sob that she covered with her hand. Her glue wasn't sticking.

Mary looked at her worried, but wisely didn't say anything. Mary had said that he was different from when she first met him. Darker… it was those friends he hung out with. They had changed him. As much as she wanted to blame them, it was on Severus. She knew that… despite the fact that she had been trying to ignore it for so long, it finally slapped her in the face.

Wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulder and rubbing her arm, Mary guided Lily to the Hogwarts kitchens. It was closer, and meant one thing. Chocolate. The house elves were more than helpful in that and brought her a nice chocolate bar and pumpkin juice as Mary proceeded to order a full meal. Lily drank her goblet down in two gulps and set it down, chowing down on her chocolate bar as she replayed the scene over and over again in her head.

"So, Lily, what did you think about the Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.S.?" They had been challenging to say the least, but Lily liked having a challenge. It held her interest and made her want to push herself farther than she has wanted to push before. It was last year that she had given Severus a quick kiss under the mistletoe, she had to under tradition, and now… now what were they? They weren't friends anymore… Were they enemies? Lily felt her heart sink into her stomach. What sort of hex had he used to slash James' face like that? It scared her… what else did he know now?

 **This is using actually words from the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in order to make this story the most accurate as possible.**


End file.
